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Here is a brief synopsis:
Homeschooling was never on my radar. I had no intention of homeschooling. Until I walked into the school building to register my then 5 year old for kindergarten. I always describe the feeling that came over me as something I had never felt before or since. I began to feel physically ill, sweat, shake, and filled with panic. Something deep in my gut was telling me she didn't belong there.
As I have tried to sort out the feelings I had this past week on the RV trip, this story came back to me with eery similarity.
You see, the RV trip was a dream of ours. I never had on my radar the "what-if's." What if it didn't go as planned? However the night before we left I was very overwhelmed and fought feelings of fear. Pushing through them, it crept back in at times on the trip. The most awful moments came when my son was sick and realized the RV was causing it because of mold.
I was feeling crushed with anxiety. A feeling I couldn't describe in words.
Until I remembered the homeschooling story last night. I have always believed fear doesn't come from God, but he DOES allow us to feel these things to steer us in His direction. I would not have been in His will had I registered her for public school. He used those feelings of fear to direct me.
I believe He did that for me on the RV trip.
He allowed me to go through the panic and the feelings I was having in order to direct me home.
Being home each day I am becoming aware of new things. How much I appreciate my home. How blessed I really am here. And how grateful I am He did not allow us to go further on the trip. Had my son not gotten sick, we would have been heading straight for tropical storms, flooding, and tornadoes.
He allows it all. He allows every breath until we reach glory.
And that is my comfort.
He is Sovereign Mighty, Able, and I must trust in Him for every single breath.
To God be the Glory.
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